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Resident Evil Extinction., magic powers inside
Crushinator
post Sep 22 2007, 01:02 AM
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This movie fucking sucks. Do not see it.

Alice has magical psychic jedi powers and can lift cars and deflect fire with her mind. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE.
She fights the last boss in some kinda fucking magic duel. WTF.

There's this one part where there's a crate delivered by umbrella full of super zombies to attack Alice and her friends, and it looks like it could hold about 20 people. But it just constantly streams zombies, like a fucking clown car. At least 60 come out of it.

At the end there is another Alice clone, and they team up to destroy the final boss, then they CLONE THEMSELVES to make a fucking army to take town Wesker and the rest of umbrella in the obvious sequel. The worst part of this is its a huge matrix-pod-chamber area, with these magical liquid bubbles. THAT DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE... BUT THATS PAR FOR THE COURSE IN THIS SHITTY FILM.

There is this stupid sub plot where Alice convinces Claire and her caravan (including the adorable K-mart! wtf) that Alaska is the only safe place from zombies, because of some TATTERED FUCKING JOURNAL SHE FOUND IN A FUCKING GAS STATION. So they hijack a helicopter which was just flown so it clearly doesn't have any fuel, load up like 10 fucking people in it, and just fly away and ARENT MENTIONED IN THE MOVIE EVER AGAIN.

The Umbrella corp guys can somehow control Alice with a sattelite, but she HAXORZ IT WITH HER MIND AND MAKES IT SHORT CIRUIT. IN SPACE. FROM EARTH. MIND HAXORZ POWERZ. I DIDNT KNOW THE T-VIRUS DID THAT. Speaking of umbrella, they also tried to make some fucking zombie domestication vaccine, and they teach a zombie to TAKE FUCKING PICTURES WITH A CAMERA. And Wesker is in the movie, but he's just some fucking hologram. Oh yeah, and the main bad guy scientist tried to create some haxed voice clone of wesker, WHICH HE NEVER USES. WTF. Also the stupid little kid computer AI is back too.

Also HUNK wasn't in this movie.


The only thing I could possibly say was good about this movie was that Claire Redfield was in it, and Ali Larter handled the character well.



Also the Iron Man trailer was before the movie. It was cool to see on the big screen.


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AC9breaker
post Sep 22 2007, 01:09 AM
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"GIVE ME A GODDAMN MUTHERFUCKING BREAK!"


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Wiryu
post Sep 22 2007, 01:54 AM
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I won't lie, I knew exACTLY what to expect out of this movie. Reason: The Resident Evil movies are not survival horrors. Until someone struggles to survive, (which they clearly do not) it will always be some scrapped up piece of shit made up by paul anderson.
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Crushinator
post Sep 22 2007, 02:02 AM
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Oh, I knew it was going to be shitty. The first 2 were shitty. But goddamn, it blew all my expectations.


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Ether
post Sep 22 2007, 04:25 AM
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What if I really liked the second one, will I like this one? I'm gunna see it in about a week, but the trailer looked pretty bad already.
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Crushinator
post Sep 22 2007, 07:49 AM
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They took a perfectly serviceable Post-apoc zombie survival tale, turned it sideways, fucked it in the anus, and then went ass-to-mouth.

If you liked Milla's devil-may-cry-3-style fighting antics in 2, then you will get more in part 3. The story and characters are utter shit though, and this has the least to do with the game series of any of them so far.


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Scan_Man
post Sep 23 2007, 03:50 PM
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What pisses me off is there are so many moments where the movie could have been fun and original. Persoanally, I thought it was mediocre at best. Then you have the last 30 min where it seems they ran out of money, or "ideas." Like the Tyrant thing getting sent through a wall, and he gets up and like kicks the area blocking his feet. It just looked so bad and cheesy.

Pretty much this movie was a 2 hour long "I love my girlfriend, look at her" greeting card.


It was just boring. Avoid.

I really enjoyed the 2nd one though.


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tanshin
post Sep 23 2007, 10:16 PM
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Can't this actress play some other kind role? Why is she always some super secret powered ninja that the government or whoever is afraid of? (5th Element, Ultra Violet, all of the resident evils) I stopped watching this series when she jump-kicked a dog in the face, so I guess I have nothing constructive to say.

Nice review, Mr. Crushin.


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Crushinator
post Sep 24 2007, 09:26 AM
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Don't forget she also played Joan of Arc, a kinda medieval version of the same character beigelaugh.gif .


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