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DivA
how does everyone here feel about marriage; also, is it within your life's plan to be married & have children in the upcoming future - or, do you feel that marriage is not for you?

in essence, where do you stand?
DarkEpyon
I'm (supposedly) the last one in my family to pass on our name. My parents are cool enough to care more about my personal happiness than passing on genes. Marriage just sounds too complicated and expensive. Throw a kid in the mix, and those numbers just go up and up.

Don't get sick a lot now? Wait till you bring home that little human petri dish from the hospital.

Think parenting is tough now? Wait till 5 or 10 years from now. You can't even lay a hand on a kid without them suing you. Kids nowadays are smart-mouthed belligerent punks. When/if the fatherhood thing happens to me, I'll be damned if I let my kids grow up like that.

Me tying the noose? Having kids? Probably not. If I want sex, there's always Vegas. The price of a hooker is actually less than that of a wife over time. I know this isn't the response one would expect from the son of a married couple of nearly 25 years.
HC82
Whatever happens, happens.

I'm not expecting anything magical to happen. I'm always down for marriage and raising a family, but that doesn't mean it will happen. If I die a single man, I won't be surprised. I doubt it though.
Retehi
I don't plan on marriage, I have my reasons.

I'm not exactly the parenting type, nor am I the one to hold my attention solely on one person the rest of my life.
Crushinator
As of right now, even thinking of marrying someone is light years beyond the level of commitment and responsibility I'm ready for.

As far as kids goes: I hate babies. They stink and they are ALL ugly. Little kids aren't any better, and working in an Arcade for a year merely tempered my distaste for them. If there were some way that you could get like a 10 year old kid, who knew how to wipe their ass and had their shit together, then maybe I'd want one.

And none of those fucked up ugly orphans who nobody wants till they are 10, or those foster kids who will murder me when I sleep.
Astrid
I've never been a fan of the traditional family of 4.5, with white-picket fences and dog named Spot type. In fact, the thought of marriage makes me very uncomfortable, and I think always will. In reality, I think more people than will care do admit see the ludicriousness in needing a state's mark of approval for the relationship to be considered "official," or to save a bit on tax returns. Regardless, one thing I've noticed is that a certain level of promised commitment often leads to mistreatment of the partner. It doesn't necessarily have to be as serious as domestic violence, but the realization that this person won't simply leave because there's a legal document keeping the two of you together. In essense, they stay because it's convenient, not because of love, which can lead to bigger problems.

Conclusively, it's entirely possible to have a life-mate without the need for marriage.
Retehi
QUOTE (Astrid @ May 31 2004, 10:06 PM)

Conclusively, it's entirely possible to have a life-mate without the need for marriage.

Finally someone that thinks like me.

I got friends like that here, happy as clams for years, and decided not to marry.
unitself
Well, speaking as somone who has been married now for a long time. It's safe to say that I am very very happily married to a person I cannot even consider living without. That said, i have no problem with people not being married but living together forever. I didn't get married because of taxes or children or church or any other reason other than I really wanted to proclaim my feelings for my wife to all my friends and family.
Kids? Completely other story. I'm not a big fan of them. I don't hate kids, I just don't really understand them. maybe it's because I am nothing more than an oversized kid myself. Plus, there are alot of things about this world that I don't want to burden a child with. There was a time when my wife and I talked about having a baby, but the more we talked about it the more we agreed that it was just not for us. If we change our minds, we still have a few more years, and there is always adoption.

ok DivA, like always... don't ask unless you are gonna tell yourself. beigesmile.gif
DivA
QUOTE (unitself @ Jun 1 2004, 08:58 AM)
ok DivA, like always... don't ask unless you are gonna tell yourself. beigesmile.gif

i'll always ask, that's part of the fun after all.. ^^ *reflects* marriage in this day & age, i cannot see it nor even consider the possibility in times ahead; dunno why exactly - that's why i posted, i was wondering if others felt the same way...many blessings to those that are, though that might be a rarity these days.. i guess knowledge is my one joy in life, far more than playing the wedding game; how odd is that?

as far as children go - word has it that it's quite painful.. ;p
in the meantime, i'll experience babies through observation of those around me..
Nynaeve
QUOTE (DivA @ Jun 1 2004, 09:39 AM)
as far as children go - word has it that it's quite painful.. ;p

Pfft. Women are evil. They live to make other women miserable, for the most part. I have 2 kids...and believe me when I say it's nothing like ANY story I was told WHILE PREGNANT, by those just DYING to see me twitch in fear.

I still to this day get up and walk away when conversation turns to their HORRIBLE *sob poor me sob* deliveries, because it's just a stupid bitch fest competition that is so unkind to those who haven't gone through it yet.

I did 'em both...csection and natural. I've had migraines that hurt worse, and did not give me the treasures that labor did.

Women are EVIL. *shakes head*
hamstar
I've been dating the same girl for nearing two years now.
I wouldn't get married. I don't see a point in it (save tax benefits etc.)
I also don't understand any sort of necessity of it. Why do people get married? Some people say "they want to spend the rest of their lives together" if that's the case then how come I strain to think of anyone whose parents are still together? Mine aren't. I've heard people say "because it'll keep our relationship together" again I have to think about my parents, they were together 20+ years, 10 of those years they hated each other. If you need marriage to keep your relationship together then there is something wrong with your relationship and I definatly don't believe you should plan on spending your life with that person.
Marriage might be alright for some people, just not me. I'm lucky to be with someone who feels the same way.
I like kids, maybe someday I'll have my own. At this point, I'm 20, I like worrying about paying my rent, playing my FFXI and spending good times with friends and keeping a nice balance between responible and off the wall. I have few long term plans and don't make enough money to even think about supporting a kid. As for now I'm against it. Talk to me about 10 years down the line I might see things a bit differently.

-Alex
hamstar
QUOTE (Astrid @ May 31 2004, 10:06 PM)
I've never been a fan of the traditional family of 4.5, with white-picket fences and dog named Spot type. In fact, the thought of marriage makes me very uncomfortable, and I think always will. In reality, I think more people than will care do admit see the ludicriousness in needing a state's mark of approval for the relationship to be considered "official," or to save a bit on tax returns. Regardless, one thing I've noticed is that a certain level of promised commitment often leads to mistreatment of the partner. It doesn't necessarily have to be as serious as domestic violence, but the realization that this person won't simply leave because there's a legal document keeping the two of you together. In essense, they stay because it's convenient, not because of love, which can lead to bigger problems.

Conclusively, it's entirely possible to have a life-mate without the need for marriage.

If my last post didn't make sense. Please reread this post...that'll about some it up.
Frosty
I DO want a boy. I know it'd probably be hell, but I think I'd have an easier time teaching a boy what I know than a girl. As far as marriage....it doesn't jump out @ me, but @ the same time, I could see myself getting married. It would just HAVE TO BE to the right person.
AC9breaker
I would love to have my own child weather it be boy or girl. Simply because I have a grim view and I would want to make sure that the human race has a hope in its future.

Personally, I want to change the world. Hopefully for the better, I mean I know I deserve better then what I have now, and there are so many people I have met who are going through even harder times then me, and deserve more then what life has handed them. Everytime I hear of someones problems It hearts my heart that someone is going through such a hard path; I wish there where something I could do for them... I don't know, maybe Im just an idealist but I just want to make sure that we as a human race can find that peace and prosperity that all people search to find, but very few ever find.

Marriage is another thing. I would like to get married some day but, I have the view that women in general are evil. So I mostly just enjoy them instead of getting serious with them. Maybe if I where to meet the right girl...
Dorian
I would love to get married and have children. But since Astrid doesn't want eaither I'll just deal with it.

Husband and Wife are great titles I guess. But life mate is just as good.

As for children I would like a girl, just cause I don't get allong with guys.

But anyway, yea.
Afroforce
I'm kinda for the life mate without marrage deal, who says you have to be legally bound to be in love? As for children... I have about... 7 siblings. 3 words.

Fuck.
That.
Shit.

Thank you.
Ellianna
wow ..very interesting topic here... marriage/life partner deal, life partner...just not for me, marriage is a show of a life time commitment, a symbol, a promise to each other ..ya know what i love seeing that's so rare..going out to the store or something and seeing a couple in their 70's-80's still holding hands. It's so rare to find someone/something that great, that after 50 years of being commited to each other you still have that Awesome of a bond.

As for children... my daughter is 5 now gonna be starting school, while she wasnt planned and i was pregnant before 20 there's no way i'd do things differently and i was one who never wanted kids all the joys of being a parent FAR outway the times where she severly TRYS my patience, the first time she smiled, the first time she rolled over, first time she tried to crawl..the first step, the first word and now her first day of school is coming up in a couple months. As far as giving birth goes... i'm with nynaeve, I had a very very trying labor..28 hours of an Enduced labor (meaning they gave me a drug to make me go into labor) i was a high risk pregnancy, i had toximia...a few doors down from me there was some chick screaming like a banchee and jesus somone should have just knocked her out...she was over dramatizing. it's not that bad at all. and when it's all over with and you get to hold your baby for the first time... you dont even think about it, because you've got this beautiful baby. yes i said BEAUTIFUL. I'd do it all again too, The IV in my arm, the cathider, the stictches where they cut me... i'd do it all over again.
Astrid
QUOTE (Frosty @ Jun 4 2004, 08:41 AM)
I DO want a boy. I know it'd probably be hell, but I think I'd have an easier time teaching a boy what I know than a girl. As far as marriage....it doesn't jump out @ me, but @ the same time, I could see myself getting married. It would just HAVE TO BE to the right person.

Don't let social conditioning influence your views on the genders. A female can do anything a male can, and vice versa, save certain inherent biological functions.
Astrid
QUOTE (AC9breaker @ Jun 4 2004, 01:43 PM)
I would love to have my own child weather it be boy or girl. Simply because I have a grim view and I would want to make sure that the human race has a hope in its future.

Personally, I want to change the world. Hopefully for the better, I mean I know I deserve better then what I have now, and there are so many people I have met who are going through even harder times then me, and deserve more then what life has handed them. Everytime I hear of someones problems It hearts my heart that someone is going through such a hard path; I wish there where something I could do for them... I don't know, maybe Im just an idealist but I just want to make sure that we as a human race can find that peace and prosperity that all people search to find, but very few ever find.

Marriage is another thing. I would like to get married some day but, I have the view that women in general are evil. So I mostly just enjoy them instead of getting serious with them. Maybe if I where to meet the right girl...

I think what you said about your child helping the world in the future is very commendable.

And women aren't biologically evil, as much as the roles they've designed for themselves over the generations are. I think it stems from their severe lack of power throughout history, that they've become so competitive and back-biting. By no means do I think that men are to blame -- they both are. I'm a firm believer in persevering in spite of opposition. In all honesty, I have tremendous respect for female revolutionaries who fought to change that, and also think they're probably rolling in their graves when they see the puppy-dog girls who would humiliate and degrade themselves in every form imaginable for a guy's affection.
DivA
history..

history is vast - spanning across aeons of time unaccounted for, but within our measure of history is where the decline of sexes become apparent (in moral, ethic & social matters..), more-so now than ever...only when men remember compassion, while women reclaim self-worth shall we advance together as a race blessed.. ^^ however, this is not to say that there is no hope; quite the contrary, there are decent folks that walk the earth - perhaps fewer in number than that of the masses, but there are women that see the world with eyes open, & men that transcend lust for pain & suffering..

have faith, says i.. spinning.gif
Azrael
Even after I finally move out of the home(next 2 years hopefully), I don't really see myself married w/children anytime soon. I'm not sure if I ever will get married or have any children. It's not that I don't like kids or anything, it's just that I don't think I would have the time or patience for it anytime soon. I'm more focused before getting myself set somewhere static first before I even consider the possibility.
Wiryu
As to where i stand, i guess i'd have to say i'd like to get married and have children some day. Doesn't matter what gender the child is to me, theres a joy you can share with both kids, i too like breaker would like to see my child succeed. As for kids being "beligerent punks" it's true some are, but are/were you even a little?

I think it all has to do with how you raise your child, raise it well, you won't have a beligerent punk, neglect him/her, you have a child who will likely raise hell for you and likely everyone else. I'm a man who in just about all cases puts family first, when/if i have a family of my own, i plan to do the same for them. But i guess in the long run, yah, i'd like to get married and have kids some day, and if my signifigant other only wants life-partner, i'm not picky, i can settle with that too without problem ^_^
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