Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: RPG Fans, have a look at this
Apocalypse Tribe HQ > Diversions > Entertainment
Vitamin D
Here it is, perhaps one of the greatest links you'll ever come across. It's kinda funny how true these are. beigelaugh.gif Anyway, enjoy.
Hahaha it was a long read but funny.
My favorites were:
Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.

Hey, I Know You, Three!
Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs):
-The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going.
-Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers.
-The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length.
-A group of small children playing hide-and-seek.
-The wise and noble captain/king/high priest.
-The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness.
-The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him.
-The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby.
-The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members.

Bed Bed Bed
A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle.

Puddin' Tame Rule
The average passer-by will always say the same thing no matter how many times you talk to them, and they certainly won't clarify any of the vaguely worded warnings or cryptic half-sentences they threw at you the previous time.

Golden Chocobo Principle
There will be at least one supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.

Golden Chocobo Corollary
The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.

Apocalypse Any Time Now
The best time to do side quests is while the huge meteor hovers in the sky above the planet, waiting to fall and destroy the world.

hahaa! These are great. Funny how they are all true as well.
My favorites -
Logan's Run Rule
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.

Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.

The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.

I can't wait for when Fable comes out! hahaaa...

This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2018 Invision Power Services, Inc.